a weekend well worth the wait.

So, after a week full of confusing thoughts, people who can't leave the past behind, another death to an automobile [Lei♥7109] , annoying ass relatives, working my ass off w/ two doubles this week, deadlines for my online classes, getting less sleep, nights of persistent crying, & everything else in-between .. I can FINALLY put a genuine smile on my face.

_Beach w/ QT! / MJCK♥square + bffElaine_ Playing in the water. ..seriously haven't done that in the longest. Long bff talks. Failed jumping pictures. Rolled up shorts. "Live a little!♥" Chases. Splash fights. Wet sand all over myself. [ Kuya! ]:< ] Racing & anemic Me do NOT mix. Saying hello to lifeguards. Unique ukelele songs. [; Lying on the best pillow. [; Stories about everything& anything. THE SUN SETTING. !! ..beautiful♥. "Cartwheels". etc etc.

_& Then some._ QT! time. [: Amazing Pools. 21 Sexiest Beaches. ..VENICE?! haha. Staying up 'till the sun rose, talking on& on, being held like that. [= Waking up to him& having a quickie breakfast. Yes, suh'.

How is it that we only got four hours of sleep last night, yet I feel like that's the BEST sleep I've gotten all week?

- - - - -
I'm not used to this at all. Not used to being thanked just for visiting. Or being called sweet. Being called a woman. Used to a simple "you too" in response to my morning texts, not a full on phone call to start off my day. Used to being held down when it came to wanting to have fun, not used to the freedom. Or the fact that he wants me to actually ..have fun?, even if it's not w/ him. [= Not used to someone actually listening to me, knowing me so well to have my schedule down. Knowing my daily routines. Not used to someone apologizing for the tiniest things, & knowing the bad habits to change, without having to be asked to. Or even knowing something's wrong, even without a word being said. Not used to having someone not want me to leave. Or someone there to applaud "good qualities" I didn't even notice I had. Not used to someone calling me amazing, beautiful, & everything else in the middle. I'm used to hearing "hott& sexy" only in reference to models, actresses, & other girls like MILEY CYRUS. hahaha! But never me. Always used to the attention being on every other chick but myself. Like the huge blow-ups of everyone else on the wall compared to the wallet size stump of my senior portrait. Used to waiting for phone calls, sometimes some that never even make it. Not used to having someone leave their room JUST to talk to me for hours on the phone before we sleep. Not used to having someone respect me like this. Not used to someone telling me "I'll wait." Not used to someone fighting, to be with me. So used to being pushed away. & Not at all used to having someone miss me, the moment I leave.

He likes listening to me talk, even when I get so carried away that I don't know how to stop. He likes me interrupting. He thinks it's cute when I'm embarrassed, & doesn't take it as on offensive thing. He doesn't say ".. why are you looking at me that way." when I look directly into his eyes becos he ..likes it. &He likes my eyes. My average, asian brown eyes. & I know this because he said so himself. (: & I'm not "weird" to him. He says I'm unique. & Different in a good way, for once. He likes how I introduce him to so many new things, & I feel exactly the same way. This is just the start; he still owes me "14, 996 hugs, upgradable at any time." He thinks I'm "amazing," though I don't know why. What I do know is that he makes me feel like I am "amazing." He likes a lot of me. & He likes how he can tell me what he doesn't like about me, & just the fact that we can talk about anything. We're always gonna talk it out, 'cos that's the thing to do. & He likes that.

He likes me. & I like him. ♥

A text today said "sorry" for messing up my night/weekend again. But honestly, I feel so strong, that it didn't--COULDN'T--break down what I'm feeling at all. He makes me strong. He makes me feel like I can face anything. Even though it's hard, I've never wanted to trust someone this much. I feel so safe w/ him. So taken care of, yet independent at the same exact time. I feel so appreciated. So whole again.

I was confused, hurt, & scared.But now I know it's a fact. No longer a "crush". No longer something I'm unsure of. Baby steps; we'll get there. We'll get through whatever. & Even if it fails, & we don't make it to where we want, I'm not scared to at least give it a try. How did He know? How did God know to send me an angel the moment I broke?

'So cool.' & Just a bit amazing, for now. [: