t'work it out.

It's really the hardest thing when two people love each other deeply, but they just can't seem to work things out. It's so frustrating. Why does it have to be one way or no way? Why can't we just compromise? &Why is it always me wanting to change for others. Why can't I find someone who'd actually do the same. -- I stand up for myself; it makes him mad. I tell him what I'm gonna do to make us work, change all the things he doesn't like about me; it makes him more upset. I swear I'm trying all I can to just be good for him, but nothing's ever good enough. I'm just always gonna be the one who's wrong, when all I ever wanna do is try to make things right. I thought the call was to work things out. & I kept saying I'd change& at the same time tell him what I didn't like .. thinking he'd try to do the same. But no, every single thing was turned around on me. Everything is inevitably just my fault. It was so tough to just give in& offer to change little pet peeves he hates about me [ even though he didn't offer to do the same ] .. just to be with him. ..&He wouldn't even take it. So that's the last time I'll do it. The sad thing is, I actually thought I was being a good girlfriend. But maybe, I just wasn't good enough. I'll just let go .. &hope, in the long run, he'll be happy. ..

While I was at work today I was watching a young girl& her dad having dinner. &It was obvious in the way they talked that her parents weren't together anymore. &It just made me reminisce about times when my dad would still make family nights every weekend even though him& Mom were newly divorced .. &I remember when I asked him why he'd tell me that he was just trying to make things work. That he had to hold the family together somehow. But it didn't.

I guess sometimes you just really have to move past things that won't work. I mean at times to this day I still miss the family we had, before it became so broken. &I wonder sometimes how it could've been. But I guess it's just a waste of time looking back, because when that happens people forget about what they have in the present. &People pass up opportunities for the future because they're so infused with their past.

Sometimes you just gotta let go ..

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things that I can, & wisdom to know the difference.